Get to Know Your Childs Teacher


Research shows students have fewer behavioral problems and perform better academically when parents develop a relationship with their child’s teacher. Teachers pay more attention to students whose parents are involved, and are more apt to identify problems in the early stages when intervention is more successful.

Marwa Yahia, mother of two, has made a practice of nurturing the parent-teacher relationship early on. She says, “I don’t want the teacher to hesitate talking to me if they have concerns regarding my child.”

Here are some suggestions for building that parent-teacher relationship:

Introduce yourself. Face-to-face contact is best, but a brief email or handwritten note is always an option. You want the teacher to connect your child specifically to you.

Tell the teacher about some of your child’s interests and strengths without bragging. Help the teacher understand what motivates your child. 

Describe challenges without relieving your child of responsibility. Approach the teacher as a partner. Instead of, “Ali has trouble keeping track of things, so don’t be surprised if he loses his homework,” try, “Ali has difficulty with organization. Here’s what has helped at home, and I’d be happy to hear your suggestions.”

Offer to volunteer. Let the teacher know if you have particular strengths, interests and preferences. Do you like working directly with students? Or would you rather prepare materials? If your schedule doesn’t allow you to be in the classroom, can you help out on an occasional field trip?

Help without helicoptering. When volunteering in the classroom, be present without being your child’s personal assistant. Look for opportunities to help other students or prep materials while observing your child. Or if your child is distracted by your presence, perhaps you can assist in the library, lunchroom or another classroom.

Show an interest in the teacher’s life outside of school. Connect with her as a person. Is she a birdwatcher?  Fan of a professional sports team? “I take time to get to know them, find something in common, even better, find something my kid and teacher have in common or can talk about. I want the teacher endeared to my child.”

Keep the teacher in the loop. Convey circumstances likely to affect your child’s classroom performance. A recent illness, lack of sleep, side effects from medication, an impending move, a death or divorce in the family – all can impact a child’s conduct and achievement. A heads-up allows the teacher to be proactive. “Because I have spent time building a relationship with the teacher, when difficulties arise, it is much easier to approach them about it. Instead of having a personal conversation with someone I don’t know, I am talking with someone I have a rapport with.”

 Be respectful of the teacher’s time. Remember how many other students are in  the class, and understand that the teacher doesn’t have time  for extended daily encounters with parents.


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